Suppose you were told everything you did wrong today all at once. 

You’d feel pretty crummy, right? 

And with good reason: No one wants to hear how they’re messing up constantly—it can feel really discouraging and disheartening. And yet we get into a pattern of doing the very thing with our kids.

You’ve got to start reading more if you’re ever going to do better in that class.

Hey! That’s not where your backpack goes!

The stack of clothes I put on your dresser is still sitting there. They should’ve been put away by now!

Put your phone down. You’re on that thing way too much!

Our kids may need correction, but they also need to hear what they’re doing right. Here are some ways to do that:

Encourage. 

Point out something specific your kid is doing well before correcting them. Encouragement primes our kids’ hearts to accept correction. 

Focus. 

Correct what’s most important in that moment, and let the other things go temporarily. 

Ask. 

Turn statements into questions. Sometimes, statements communicate disappointment in our kids’ choices. Choose curiosity instead. 

Our kids are always learning and growing. When we make a habit of encouraging our kids, home will feel like a safe place for them to figure out how the world works as they move from one phase to the next.