We want to do everything we can to help our kids avoid pain, both physical and emotional. But sometimes, situations are out of our control and our kids’ feelings get hurt.
As much as we want to make everything better for them, we simply can’t—there will always be parties our kids won’t be invited to, unkind words said to them, and teams they won’t be picked to join.
While we may not be able to shield our kids from everything, there are some things we can do:
Allow your kid to express their emotions openly. Try not to interrupt or offer advice until they’re finished. Ask questions and make sure you understand the whole situation to truly understand how they feel.
While it may not be their fault, it’s important to make sure your kid is self-aware enough to reflect on what happened. If, in a previous situation, they were arrogant or rude, that might have contributed to why they weren’t invited this time. Be wary of labeling the other kids as “haters” or something similar—that eliminates the need for self-reflection.
When your kid is feeling down and after offering to listen to their feelings, it may be the perfect opportunity to do something spontaneous and fun together. Sometimes, you might just need to be a friend to them when they’re in the process of making new friends. Don’t force the situation, but make sure they know you’re there when they need you.
It’s often easy to forget your truth when you’re feeling sad, disappointed, and lonely. The same is true for your kid, so it’s important to remind them of what makes them who they are. Remind them of how courageous, wise, and safe they are and repeat as often as necessary.
The downside is we’ll have ample opportunities to practice helping our kids navigate hurt feelings. But with our consistency and presence, we will raise a generation of compassionate, introspective, and resilient humans.
Celebrate your kids for who they are every day.
Looking for a way to remind your kids of how brave, wise, and resilient they are, even when they’re not with you? These super-soft, long-sleeved t-shirts are a fun way to point out all of the things you admire about your kids.
