Fighting for the hearts of our kids is one of those daily behaviors that seems to refine and challenge us, as parents, more than anything else. With disciplinary situations in particular, we are often faced with our humanity in ways that make us feel... uncomfortable.
One lesson we’re taught almost daily is we cannot control our kids’ actions, no matter how many times we try. We can guide, nudge, remind, and even pester them, yet, in the end, they decide what action they will take. Not us. And, that can get under our skin... a lot.
So, when it comes to disciplining our kids, approaching it in a way that is helpful takes practice, planning, and a lot of patience.
In our everyday interactions, we need to create a habit of speaking words that are helpful to our kids. It’s easier to do this in positive interactions than negative ones. However, if we fail to speak helpful words in a positive interaction, it’s almost guaranteed we won’t speak them in a negative one.
If your kid makes a poor decision, what are the consequences? Does your kid know those consequences? It’s okay if you don’t know the appropriate consequence every time, but make sure you communicate with your kid. If you need time to think about it, let them know you’ll come back to them with an answer.
It’s easy to make the rules more important than the relationship. But, kids are going to make mistakes. Our ability to be patient with their mistakes communicates an unconditional love to them. Kids need a safe place to mess up and know they are capable of doing better the next time.
It’s in those moments, the hard ones that require us to weigh discipline and the relationship, we are reminded of our role in our kids’ lives––to create a culture in our home where they know they are unconditionally loved and to be a safe place for their emotional and mental health to thrive.
Parent like every week counts
The responsibility to shape a child's faith and character can seem overwhelming, especially in the short amount of time parents have before kids become adults. In Don't Miss It: Parent Every Week Like It Counts, parents discover that what they understand about their kids now—in whatever phase they’re in—has the potential to change their kids' future.
When an adult child violates our values, makes poor choices, or gets in deep trouble, we often question our parenting abilities. It may be too late for prevention, but it’s never too late for redemption.
