We are the first generation to parent in a technology-driven world. And with anything new, there’s a lot of tension as we learn to navigate what life and parenting looks like with technology playing such an important role in our family’s lives.
Our job as parents is to protect our kids from seen and unseen dangers, and technology often falls under that category. So, here are some ways to draw boundaries around technology during each phase of a kid’s life:
Set parental controls right away. Technology opens doors your kids might not be old enough or mature enough to walk through. Before giving them access to their new devices, get familiar with the device yourself and set up those parental controls before giving your kids access—limit their app purchases, set up kids’ versions of their apps, and get alerts sent to your device to monitor their activity.
Your kids could spend hours on their devices, but that doesn’t mean they should. Decide how much time your kids should be spending on their devices by setting time limits on how long they get to use their device. Then, communicate those expectations clearly to them. You may get some pushback from your kids, but try to avoid offering a device when they say they’re bored. Instead, help them come up with other fun activities to do.
Technology is fun, but kids need to understand that with it comes a lot of responsibility, so it’s important to set clear expectations on technology use. No matter how old your kid is, boundaries help them feel safe. Setting up safeguards and expectations for how their new device should be used may cause complaints, but clearly communicating what you expect now is better than confusion later. Be very specific when setting expectations.
Devices are scientifically designed to be habit-forming—research shows the same parts of the brain fire when someone is on a device as when they’re experiencing pleasure of some kind. Make sure to factor in consistent, weekly breaks from technology, and not just for your teen, but for the whole family. And while you’re taking a much-needed pause, plan an alternative to how that free time will be spent.
Technology has so many benefits, but like anything else, moderation is important. Remember to model healthy technology habits for your kids and stay in tune with any behavior changes you may notice in your kids. If your kids are being negatively affected by their screen time, don’t wait to make necessary adjustments.
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