A new school year can stir up some pretty big emotions in your kid. They’re facing a totally new environment, peer group shifts, and a disruption to their summertime rhythm…all while learning something new all day every day.

It’s a lot. 

So, whether your kid is the chatty kind or the silent type, you can anticipate a range of emotional responses when it comes to starting school again.

Here are some conversation topics to help you connect with your kid at the start of this new school year:

Prepare your kids to expect not to know every answer. Remind them that they won’t be good at everything right away—they’re meant to be challenged and learn something new.

Help your kid navigate their desire to fit in by reinforcing their identity—remind them they are wonderful the way they are and that they already have a place where they belong, and that’s right at home. Encourage them to be hopeful they’ll find people they can be themselves with at school.

There will be many things your kid will face at school that they have no influence over, but what they can control is their effort and how they treat other people. Remind your kid about what true kindness is—respect for themselves and others—and what to do when someone isn’t showing kindness to them.

Kids, especially the younger ones, might find themselves missing home way more than they normally would once they go back to school this fall. This conversation is an opportunity for you to build trust by reminding your kid that you will always come back for them and there are other caring adults they are safe with.

Hopefully, your kid won’t find themselves in a position where they don’t feel safe. But if they do, you want to have built a foundation with them before this point, reminding them they can come to talk to you or another caring adult in your circle about anything, no matter what. Remind your kids that families may have surprises for each other, but they don’t keep secrets from each other, especially harmful ones.

Remind your kid that change isn’t always a bad thing—we can miss what used to be, but be excited for what’s to come. Reassure your kid that humans are capable of feeling different feelings all at once and that’s okay.

Celebrate the school year with something new!

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