For parents, the internal and external messages can be so loud.
You’re not good enough.
You’re missing out on something critical.
You’re doing everything wrong.
You’re ruining your kid.
Constant feelings of shame and defeat associated with “doing things all wrong,‘’ can crush even the world’s most confident parent. But those feelings, no matter how real they feel to you, are no match for what is true.
Here are five things that are true about you right now, despite what your brain may be telling you:
1. You are the parent your kid needs.
You are a good parent even on your worst days. You are a good parent because you are here—you care enough to be present and you want to be the best parent to your kid. That speaks volumes to your awesomeness.
2. You are learning, too.
One way we’re able to show our kids grace is by reminding ourselves they’re still learning. While learning, missteps are meant to happen, but you learn to be patient through the process. In parenting, you’re learning and growing all the time, too. So, why don’t you start viewing your mistakes as the first step to you growing into the parent you’re meant to be? That understanding and tenderness you show your kid when they mess up? Give yourself some of that.
3. You need all the same things your kid needs.
We will pull some Houdini-level magic to get our kids to eat their veggies, yet we give ourselves lackluster effort and scraps. Starting today, we are going to start giving ourselves everything we want for our kids—balanced meals, a full night’s rest, safety, love, and time to socialize. We cannot give our kids our best if we’re not okay.
4. Your best is good enough.
Some days, you will have 100 percent to give, and other days, you’ll have way less. But both are your best when you give what you have. Remind yourself daily that what you have to give is just the right amount.
5. Your support system is not optional.
Parenting was never meant to be done alone. Asking for help when you need it is one of the best ways you can show love to yourself. So, whether you’re blessed to have a built-in support system from the beginning or whether you have to work to build a solid foundation of community, make support your priority to maintain and build. Parents need people.
Raising the next generation to be loving humans is one of THE hardest jobs. Our thoughts have the power to shape how we approach our role as parents, so let’s make sure our words to ourselves are loud, positive, and true.
