Confidence is rarely an issue when our kids are young, but as they grow older, their self-conviction seems to wane. But it’s all completely normal: Right around the second grade, kids start to develop their sense of empathy by noticing—and comparing themselves to—others for the first time. Your once self-assured kid is now looking outside of themselves and realizing the world doesn’t revolve around them. That has to be a pretty scary, disorienting realization.
It’s hard to watch our kids grapple with a lack of confidence. Instead of tackling each of their insecurities head on, a more helpful approach is to plant positive, never-changing, confidence-building truths in the hopes the truths will grow bigger and louder than the lies.
Here are five confidence-building reminders for your kids:
You are loved by your family.
Sometimes, it’s easy for kids to forget they already have so much love and acceptance right at home. Remind them they have a place to belong, no matter what’s going on inside of their peer group.
You are loved by God.
Remind your kids of God’s consistent, never-changing, overflowing love for them and remind them of it often.
You are valuable just because of who you are.
Make sure your kids know their existence isn’t a mistake—they are here for a reason and that makes them so incredibly valuable and worthy.
You are never alone because God is always with you.
Loneliness is so pervasive, it touches almost everything once it sets in. Remind your kids that although they may feel lonely, they are never truly alone because God’s presence is with them wherever they go and nothing can change that.
Your strengths can and will make the world a better place.
We’ve all been given unique gifts. Be a student of your kid and call out their strengths to them—are they a loyal person? Are they a good friend? Do they have a special skill that helps them spread a positive message to the world? Remind them of who they are and the parts of themselves that make them unique.
While we can’t guarantee our kids won’t battle comparing themselves to their peers as they develop, we can do our best to provide the blocks they need to build a strong enough sense of self to manage the fight.